Quizzes for the quiz-a-holics

i find that i complete many personal quizzes and post them on myspace bulletins. it kind of depresses me (in a non-depressive way if that does indeed make any sense) that i do them, because really, it's just a sign that i'm in need of some help with my social life, because obviously if i'm doing them.. i have none. i loathe them for that part. and yet at the same time i know i have the ability to stop doing them. so why don't i just stop doing them?

because sub-conciously i like them a lot.

you don't understand how much it shames me to say so. it fills me with humiliation, pain and... and.. and even deeper humiliation and pain that i like doing these self absorbed, grammatically challenged quizzes, where the word "think" or "thought" or "intellect" has never been seen in the dictionaries of the people that MAKE these quizzes. no, they aren't even quizzes to me anymore. it's just one question, one repeated question that asks me what's going on in my life. and all i have to answer is : work.

OH THE SHAME OF IT ALL.

i've even started to copy some into word documents and saved them... for later....

and i whisper in horror to myself; 

"noooooooooooooo..."

what are you woman? are you stupidity, with horrendous grammar, that would repulse even the homeless man on the street? or are you.. you... a... woman?!

on a brighter note, i've started to sketch two portraits. though, they are of the same person... and it concerns me that i am sketching them... but see, they're difficult to sketch. they have these characteristics about them that i can't capture, and i pains me that i can't get them right. i'm a bit of a perfectionist come sketching. or anything that i draw really. unless it's oil pastels. i love oil pastels.

but what i can't seem to get right is the mouth. i can get the nose right, the eyes right (and i had to practice a lot with eyes) the shape of the face, the hair, everything but the mouth... and i think i'm scared of getting it wrong. because this person once upon a time to me was perfect. and if i get this picture wrong, perhaps i'm facing the reality that they aren't perfect, which they aren't of course, but still... i like to think it's perfect. 

anyway. i'm off to do some more re-designing for work, oh joy.

peace out homes.