i see sunshine. shadows flitting on the ground. flashing of monitors. unclean hands. papers everywhere.
i hear cars rushing. i hate that noise now. the fridge humming. mens oafish yelling.
i smell bitter smells. cigarette smoke. soap. washed hair. salt stained skin.
i type on everything. comment on everything. force myself outside.
i need distractions.
i need distractions.
but it doesn't drown one thing.
... Why wasn't i there for you.
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