An Apology From a Promise

I regret so much.

I wish i could get on a plane, and get away from here.

I don't know if this is right.

I wish no one knew me.

Stop crying. Stop it.

Pull yourself together, you idiot.

You fucking idiot.

I don't want this anymore.

FUCK.

Just let me fade away from everyone.

Something.

She's good for something. She just doesn't know what anymore.

No one ever looks at Stars nowadays.

While everyone sleeps, She walks these cold streets.

It's the only time to think clearly. When everyone has left.

In solitude, what's found. Silence. Anger. Pain. Frustration. Sadness. She Wept.

 The Freeway like an endless River.

 Her body melted into the Road.

And then; Peace.



While everyone sleeps, I watch over the Night.
And think of the Sea.

Congratulations

Alongside some of the most amazing musical geniuses.

You deserve it. And so often you don't believe it. You should believe it.

I'll be watching from the crowd, my eyes on you... With your eyes on everyone.

Because that is how life works. Whilst one will stay, the other will go.

The gap is widening. Widening. Widening. 

I wish. I wish...

No more. I'm done with the rest. I'm staying. It doesn't matter.

Those stilled memories on the wall, shouldn't be there.

Breathe deeply. Breathe.

I'm here. I am here.

And so proud and happy for your gift.

Done.

I'm not sure who to talk to.

Or if i should even talk.
You have no idea how much i'm hurting.
You have no idea how much i'm lying to keep you happy.
To keep you away from my pain.
I just want you back here.
But you're too tired to think anymore. You don't ever think of me, then.
I go to bed alone, tears. I wake up alone, tears.
I can't keep waiting next to the phone. Hoping that you'll contact me.

I wish you would. I really...


 I can't do this anymore. I can't. I wish i didn't hate you as much as i loved you right now.

I hate what you've done to me. But i could never hate you. I hate that.

JJS

There won't be sad words. 

Nor any drama.

I am stopping myself outright.

It was a factor that made this happen.

The violins have stopped playing, and i can't get them to play anymore.

The world keeps spinning, when i would like it to stop.

The lines and features of man, etched and burnt into my memory.

 And the thought that it was me all along.

There are so many things unfinished. Yet started.

That's what i remember most.

That's what stops me from reaching out.

If i blinked, if i breathed, if i moved, it had meaning.

I want the music to start again.

It won't start again.

I did this. 

Constant tears.

No sad words. Forced smile.

I am the Human Chameleon.

Again.

Electric Sea Spider + The Sea

http://www.myspace.com/electricseaspider

 You don't have a clue about how The Sea believes in you.

(\ /)

( . .)

c('')('')

Still There

Never habituate. That's what I'm living by. To never reside within one place and feel as if it were home. Because it doesn't feel like home. Not yet. For there is so much beauty I have to see, to explore, to smell, to feel, to soak in. Can you forgive me?

I'll call you from a telephone box. I don't know where yet. But through the hazy night, when my drunken legs and mind carry my self, my numb body, I'll call you when I get there. Because somehow, I'll be safe in the night. I'll call you from a telephone box.

And when I come back, I'll sit next to the flimsy paper that recorded it all. I'll be to scared, too shy to look. I'd like to think that maybe I was wrong. But I know I'm not. Nor are you. It was the thought of you that brought me here. If only for a while.