Breaking Handcuffs Into An Ocean.

There are things within time that seem so make believe. That seem to say that the very consciencousness of what and who we are are mere blimps in another life.

Questioning the existence of ourselves, we struggle onwards, against a battle that we constantly seem to lose. And shouting, screaming out, "To start over, to start again." What would you give for that?

Time takes a lot away from us. I guess it's ok. Perhaps.

Apparently tomorrow doesn't really exist, but we live in the existence of one day, that continually chooses to cover us in a black blanket at times. Sometimes it feels like all the time, doesn't it. So, a brand new day seems rather out of the question with one day to live.

A relationship doesn't need to be exclusive. Sometimes, if you know it's there, although you know you're going to lose them in the end, and even if you feel that stabbing pain in your chest, even if you see it all as wrong, even if you hear the songs, and they leave when you're still there, it's perfect. For just a second, you're at peace.

Love is blinding they say. People would follow you until the dark, they say.

If it feels like we've seen everything, and we're asking to be saved, i'd rather much be a propaganda, and see you live alone, happy.

I never want to be an item again. Never. I'm going to raise my hands, to that sky that's so blue, and hopefully touch something that i'll never see, but be satisfied that i at least touched it. For a second.


Just for this time... I love you.

Hellsing

So my mate Matt got me onto this japanese anime. It's called Hellsing, about vampires, and the battle between the true undead and artificial man made vampires. and ghouls. and stuff. It's pretty fucking sweet. I highly recommend having a looksies at it, because my god, it's awesome. The music is really good too. Apparently there are four movies after the series (there are i think if i recall correctly, about 13-17 episodes? yeah i can't remember). Anyway, it's complicated, so just watch it, mmmk?

Never A Day, Has This Beauty Died

Weight: Eugh, don't want to think about it. 

Alcohol Units: 2 

Cigarettes: 12 (v.g) 

Coffee: 5 (i should consider that intravenous stuff...) 

Amount of fuckwittage encountered: 1 

Hours spent cleaning equipment: 3 

Good thoughts: 8 (excellent)  

Shit. A perfectly good day, lost, towards the tiny confines of an office within a huge building, 3 storeys above the ground, waiting for absolutely... nothing. Scott, however gorgeous and absolutely lovely he may be, cannot waver my slight anger and annoyance that my photography session has been cancelled for the night. Bloody annoying. So, instead of enjoying a nice night out, doing the thing i love most, I'm sitting here watching ABC1, with millions of apple cores littered around me in an attempt to be more healthy... or at least look it.  

During my break, i sat outside to have a well deserved smoke and began thinking about a lot of things. 

Workmates. (fuck, i forgot how annoying Tif was eg. "Didi [i don't like that nickname you absolute brat], can you go get me a coffee while you're out? [no, i can't, i'm painfully increasing in idiocy in your presence] i mean, i don't have a break till later, and i mean... you don't really DO anything do you [FUCK YOU! i do more than you do with your little finger]... so, like, skinny, decaf yeah, with two equals, thanks Didi" [I HATE YOU...]).  

Christmas. Why was i thinking about Christmas? Christmas in July? i had no idea. And then it hit me; last night, someone starting talking about getting an awesome christmas present, now i have to think of something awesome too. DAMN YOU. you know who you are... But then i started thinking; what is a really cool present? personally, the best presents are actions. aaannndd i'm not going to anymore detail about that. But, brainwave! i have an excellent idea, HAH! 

People. A lot of strange people around Elizabeth St. They all seem to saunter, not just walk down the street. That has to say something about city folk, eh? :P And a lot of them carrying steaming cups of coffee, and the smells from the surrounding shops... mmm... my god, i needed a coffee then. 

Which then reminded me of Tif. Eugh.  

People will always, and forever more, be a chapter (many, many chapters) in my book, and i'll approach them like questions; i'll never truly have an answer, and no matter how much i think about it, and how much i write about it, i won't have anything. And i think i rather like that. I prefer people remaining as strange, and wonderful (and in Tif's case, blatantly retarded) as they are. it seems natural. Natural is good.

I also began thinking about kisses. My favourite kisses are received on the forehead. Strange? Perhaps... STOP. Must not think of such nonsense. No point. NO point! I really want to go out for dinner. Perhaps tomorrow night.

My God. I've written about absolutely nothing. I'm going to watch the telly and cuddle up with some hot chocolate.